The corona plague is not for the weak-hearted, that's for sure. That's especially true if you own a restaurant, own a mink farm in Scandinavia, work in the entertainment business, have a poor internet connection, or your partner struts around the apartment naked whilst you are on a Zoom call.
But nothing is worser (!) than being an unskilled HR lady who has to deal with work-capsules, health regulations, leave-without-pay as well as cope with everyone's angst, which is a nice word I have started to use.
Using my agile Austrian blockchain, I have nailed down the top three attributes leading to my success-all of which led to my being chosen HR Lady of the year 2020, for all "intensive purposes".
Here's what I have been up to:
1) Perk Alignment: I trimmed and slimmed the following perks: health club fees, egg-freezing, mushrooms/extra cheese on late night pizzas, ethnic-food day, English language lessons, taxis to the airport, shingles vaccine booster shots, upgrade of mobile phones, health insurance. I shut down one elevator and turned down the air conditioner to 19 degrees celsius, which my American readers don't understand.
2) Job Pruning: I reduced the number of customer service agents in our call centre, and outsourced that service to a call centre that answers the phone within 21 days. I cut the number of administrative staff by 5 and then added 6 more. I fired the gardener and window washer and rehired these functions from Gibraltar, so that the work be done remotely.
3) Sundry: I commissioned an online fat-reducing fitness program from the USA , outsourced IT services to Kabul, and commissioned an online tele-medeicine service, which has been previously been documented here, in el Pais and on the BBC.
I also augmented by own salary to 200,000 Euro a year, as well as a small one time spot bonus of 12000 Euro.
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