The tension in the senior management meeting was palpable, which is a very exciting word. In attendance were CEO Stan, Chief Nerd Comrade Karl Marks, CFO Herr Mister Krebbs, and yours truly the first lady of HR. On the agenda was but one item, "should we enforce vaccination on the recalcitrant nerds who refuse to undergo such a procedure"?
CEO Stan, who chaired the meeting (by Zoom), was standing up, since his hemorrhoids are inflamed, which often happens when he is under stress. And believe me, he in under stress; the Board revoked his first class travel "in order to give personal example to the rank and file".
Stan asked each of us to "briefly state your opinions because I have more important things to do than get your input on this question. For fu-k sake, what type of ignoramuses have you all recruited"?
Chief Nerd Comrade Karl said that in Russia, "during Stalin's time, people who refuse to take a vaccine would have been shot, by Lavrentiy Beria or Lazar Kaganovitz who were compliance officers of the highest order". CEO Stan cut Comrade Karl short- "shut up, you moron; we are not in Russia. Take your meds".
Our German CFO Mister Herr Krebbs gave a detailed financial report of 236 slides cost accounting all the alternatives. After his three hour presentation, Krebbs said that "I hope to haf all ze details by next veek". Stan texted me asking if Herr Krebbs work-visa in about to expire. I answered in a timely fashion, since I am always available.
Then came my turn.
I weaved in three factors: wellness, teletrabajo, and our core values. Stan asked me why I was using a Spanish word for working from home. "Gloria, are you eating too much paella at night? Speak in English, or I'll send you back to Canada on a one way ticket by American Eagle".
Always in compliance, I reverted to English and gave a fuzzy opinion, gravitating between business partnership, people and my own long term survival.
In the end, Stan told me to give our downsizer, Ms Axe, a hundred syringes to stab refuseniks in the bum inadvertently when they enter the building.