Tele-medicine insurance coverage and the HR lady

The greatest HR achievement from the corona period was the introduction of tele-medicine policy for our staff, nerds and senior management alike.

The policy is an enabling platform for user-friendly delivery of health solutions via Skype and Whatsapp. 

The tele-clinic is staffed by skilled "feldshers" from the former Red Army. Most of these feldshers speak some English, and all of them speak Russian, I have been told.

In today's management meeting, I received lots of positive feedback vis a vis (French) this service, as well as some non-positive feedback from disgruntled, ungrateful staff. 

I listened closely, because feigned internal- client  intimacy is a critical success factor of the senior HR manager.  

CEO Stan, who suffers from hemorrhoids, told me that tele-medicine is "the most stupid fucking thing you ever did, Ramsbottom. If you were not so good at right-sizing, you'd be out on your cold Canadian ass".

CFO Mister Herr Krebbs, who is a swimmer, migrated from swimming to walking and developed a sweat-related rash "somewhere" down below. Herr Krebbs said that "ze Tele-Klinic iz a Stück Scheiße; too expensive unt too shallow".

Comrade Carl Marks had to have a tooth pulled, and the feldsher instructed Carl's lady -friend which pliers to use in order to have the comrade extract his own impacted tooth.

After I heard this feedback, I noted the pecuniary benefits of tele-medical plan, trying to provide appropriate context for HR decision making in a financially challenged environment. Herr Krebbs did not listen; he was reading a German newspaper.

CEO Stan, who was standing during the entire meeting, took off his shoe and threw it at me, missing me and hitting Comrade Carl in his swollen jaw. Stan suggested that "within ten seconds, cancel the telemedicine contract. Ten, nine, eight...".

Always close to my customers, I moved even closer and revoked the service, in a timely fashion.

Swollen Jaw