Rolling out Plans for Mental Health Day

 

Comrade Carl Marks, our Chief Nerd, brought me up to speed about his plans for Mental Health Day.

"Gloria", Carl bellowed,"in Russia where I studied, mental illness was seen as ideological weakness. I am not sure that I disagree with this, and I will tell you why. Many of our clients have been emotionally sidelined with some of our newest software features. As a result, they have become depressed and obsessive -as a matter of fact-so much so that I am hiding in my dacha on Lake Placid with Olga, Svetlana, Natalie, Olga and Olga."

I was reminded that dacha is the Russian word for cottage.

"My dear Comrade Carl," I asked, 'What are your plans for mental health day?"

"Gloria, don't cut me short. I am not rambling, Show patience. Don't be a running dog of bourgeois expediency. I have invited our clients to a gathering in your backyard on the eve of Mental Health Day. Catering for 40 people will be sufficient. I have invited pharma companies to hand out OTH examples of the best drugs for Emotional Sideline-ism. Send the catering bill to CEO Stan. If the clients ruin your lawn, expense it. And prepare a few wise and cunning words to open the evening. In English. Perhaps you can invite one of your learned colleagues like that Spanish professor  to discuss Teletrabajo. Or else I can lecture on "The legacy of Lazar Kaganovich" for leaders of tomorrow. Spasiba". 

The comrade closed the phone on me.

                                                                    Lazar Kaganovitch

I called CEO Stan immediately, to see how we can wiggle out of the dilemma, in line with my key value of wiggling out of dilemmas. 

But Stan told me, "I butter your bread, Gloria so just listen to me.

One-what the fuck is a dacha? 

Two-Who was Kaganovitch? 

Tres-What is teletrabajo? 

Four-What's your plan to align Comrade Carl's medications? Tomorrow is Mental Health Day".