Constantly ahead of the pack, I guided the hapless Ms Cynthia Axe to rehire some of the nerds we sent into oblivion in the framework of our Early Bird Retirement Plan.
Ms Axe, who used to run that plan, has recently been appointed to a new role as Human Inventory Focal Point.
For once in her miserable life, Ms Axe needs to grovel due to the present chaotic structure of the job market, which I describe as non-wow. If you ask me, Danish work culture is spreading faster than a speeding bullet.
I questioned Ms Axe about the approach she was taking in her interview in terms of selling the company to the nerds, many of whom misunderstand our compensation plan. Axe told me that the nerds keeping asking the same questions:
1) Why do pizzas ordered after midnight not have enough toppings?
2) Why don't we understand what the client wants?
3) Can we work even if our visas have expired?
4) Is that bitch Ramsbottom still the HR lead?
5) Can a I get a new folding Galaxy?
Ms Axe asked me what the right answers are, and I referred to an HR handbook, which unfortunately is not (yet) in English.
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