Comrade Karl-Claude Marks
R.H. Gloria-Claudette Ramsbottom-Lemieux
Our German CFO, Herr Krebbs, noticed that expenses have risen due to various subscriptions to AI services. In last week's management meeting, CEO Stan opened the meeting with a probing question: " what the fuck are you wasting resources on?"
Signaling to Herr Krebbs, the obedient Krebbs showed a slide detailing the various AI related subscriptions.
Stan, who was standing up due to inflamed hemorrhoids, demanded that we all show him "the wood behind the arrow" which AI provided.
Our head of R&D and Customer Satisfaction czar, Comrade Karl-Claude Marx, said his AI service was "able to recruit nerds faster than the ladies of HR", simplify the code by 53% and provide support in 132 languages, including Lugandan and Scottish English. Karl added that AI does not need a visa and basically "any dithering fool can appear smart if he, or even she, knows how to use it". And he added that the product roadmap will be AI generated.
Herr Krebbs said that "ze product needs to verk properly, before "unt rrroadmap"!
Herr Krebbs, our CFO, said that "if we had cash, we could manage ze cash flow better". Stan then asked Comrade Karl: "why don't your products generate cash, you weirdo?" Karl Claude answered, "kibinimat, don't rush me.".
Yours truly, Gloria the HR, Compliance and Wellness Senior VP, explained that AI has helped streamline downsizing, enhance brand recognition among the downsized, and eliminated the need to train anyone.
" I even managed to learn a few words of Hungarian", blurted out Comrade Karl-Claude, butting into my concise explanation.
Stan summed up the meeting, apparently eager to scratch where it was itching. "Krebbs, I want an ROI plan on AI in 10 minutes. Karl, if you mention your obsession with Hungarian, you can pack your bags. Gloria, great work on streamlining downsizing."
