Ramsbottom and Axe
As we head into the final stretch of 2021, Ms Axe suggested to me that we do a wellness assessment of our nerds.
Ms Axe took a 30 minute webinar on Wellness last week, which was produced in Denmark, and dubbed in Scottish English, making both the content and delivery foreign to her. Yet I did give her initiative my divided attention and thus guided her to prepare a questionnaire for my approval.
True, the questionnaire that she prepared made Biden's absconding from Afghanistan look good, but nevertheless, but for all the more reason, I made some corrections (232) and voila-we distributed it to our nerds who are working from home (15%), working at the office (40%) , and/or in their native homelands, stuck or in a permanent state of quarantine (76%).
My head of diversity, a white straight lad named Hugh White, reviewed the questionnaire to ensure that Black lives matter, there is no anti-Semitic undertone, terrorism is deemed a professional preference, and no sexual proclivity is delegitimized. Hugh suggested 12 corrections, and he was overruled in a friendly but assertive manner.
In line with my core values of knowledge leadership, I am sharing a few of the questions.
1) Isn't it weird that people who work from home expect full remuneration?
2) What would we ever do without the perky ladies of HR, who work so hard to ensure that we all remain so fully engaged during the plague by their endless effort for the motherland?
3) Would you mind losing your job to an Afghan immigrant who is willing to work for free, in line with our core value of social responsibility?
4) We cannot pay the premiums until further notice for our medical insurance due to an IT error. Do you mind? If so, please enter your employee number, and re-read question 3.
5) Most of our sales force speaks good English. Is this unfair? Do you feel unwell when people do not understand you when you speak in a conference call with the accent of your local dialect?
This is funny because it so evil 😈
ReplyDelete