Friday, 2 October 2026

AI enables people to sleep under a bridge in Seattle

 

Ever since I implemented AI to generate data (big data) about our sales, revenue projection and headcount, and then downsize nerds as needed by text, life has become much easier. Nowadays, I have plenty of time to focus on HR's major domain, compliance.

Furthermore, hiring has never been easier, albeit the non-wow salaries we pay. Despite the fact that new hires get medical insurance for only half their teeth and all medical exams are done by Zoom, we are flooded by candidates from all over the world who a work place where there is no need to speak English properly. Our entire R&D team uses on line AI driven translation services; true, our software is a bit disjointed but after 5-6 reboots an hour, it gets some work done. Nerds love working in a place like ours, and our AI driven recruitment bot filters out people with posh English.

Our AI recruiting bot for customer service engineers has been configured to recruit engineers who like taking night flights, eating as they work, and capable of gently educating our clients to reform their expectations. Last week, we recruited a former MMA lassie to deal with our clients in Eastern Europe.

Lest I forget, all training is AI driven; the training is delivered via earphone on night flights and monitored by an AI driven software that wakes up a nerd who may fall asleep during training. This software is not used on Ryanair or Wizz Air, since no one can fall asleep when their feet are in their mouth.

Yes, AI has made my life easier. Our former downsizer, Miss Cynthia Axe is a pole dancer in the Ukraine and Hugh White, the white heterosexual who ran our Diversity Division R.I.P, was last seen sleeping under a bridge in Seattle, which is in the United States.





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AI enables people to sleep under a bridge in Seattle

  Ever since I implemented AI to generate data (big data) about our sales, revenue projection and headcount, and then downsize nerds as need...

Glo at her best