Today's senior management meeting was wow. Just one wow. True, our investors have not yet cut off the supply of money, but we have seen brighter days; I try not be negative, in line with my core values of being perky.
CEO Stan, asked each and ever one of us to "throw out" one idea onto the table which would lift the spirit of our investors" and keep our clients "from bitching so much".
Herr Krebbs, our German CFO said "Geld regeirt die welt", adding "so all ze doorz are closed". Stan asked Krebbs to speak English, but Krebbs had an urgent call from ze bank, and thus had stepped out of the room. Krebbs was gaunt when he returned to the room and angst emanated from his white and chubby face.
In line with my core values of answering the bosses queries without committing myself, I said that hiring a few Australians could boost the morale of our beloved investors. "The Aussies all work from home, which saves us precious office space. And-we can also keep our prices down, because their cost of living index is low-as they are locked down all the time and can't spend money. True, we don't have any job openings, but that's another matter". I said that in line with my core value of deferred responsibility.
Comrade Karl Marks, our chief nerd, was playing with a new gadget (a mini blockchain) when his turn to speak arrived. "Stan, you need bigger balls. You have got it all wrong. Did people stop sleeping around when there was aids? Kibinimat, don't be a dotard. Of course they didn't. They just wore a condom. Who gives a rat's ass about Delta-the mask is the new condom. Tell the investors just that; leave the clients to me. Spasiba."
Stan texted me (on whatsapp) that we hardly have any more clients left to leave to the Comrade, and I sent Stan a smiley, in line with my core values of sending smileys when I have nothing to say.
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