If you have ever worked with me, it’s clear that Artificial
Intelligence is an add-on, a scaffold and or a rudimentary primitive “app” when
compared to the cunning of the HR lady. Yet fashion is fashion, so I acted in line with our core value. Which core value? Read on.
I have tested AI on three employees, Ms Axe the downsizer,
Hugh White the straight white boy who manages DEI and Mr. Herr Krebbs, our
German CFO.
Ms Axe is not exactly white trash, yet she is not the
brightest bulb on the block. She actually told the 6 people that she was about
to axe that “today, following the guidance of my boss, Ms Gloria, my skills are
augmented by a robot that she programmed. “Du bist gefeuert! Scram”. The nerds
who were fired spoke Hindi, Cantonese and Hebrew. I cannot begin to tell how stupid
Axe can be. I have begun to think that Ms Cynthia Axe needs a coach.
Armed with an AI chat box, Hugh White gave his ok to hire 3 very
white, US- based, English speaking customer service engineers for our US based clientele.
One of the secrets that have made our service so successful is that we could
always feign misunderstanding of what the customer wanted. All our service
engineers were Thais or Japanese, at least until now.
Our CFO Mister Herr Krebbs was provided with an AI based app
with a Viennese accent, i.e., pure and easy to understand German, except for
the verb locations. Yet half an hour after reviewing our HR budget, he sent me
an email that “mein cash flow eats dein perks for breakfast, Frauline Gloria.
Choppy choppy your spending by 37% for Q3.”
I met CEO Stan on the executive elevator later in the day. I
told than “Our AI plan is moving along in alignment with our core value of “Use
Humans only when Needed.” ‘
"And where is the meat?”, asked Stan.
I told Stan that I have been a vegetarian for a week.
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