Our chief nerd and user experience czar Comrade Karl Marks asked Hugh White, the white heterosexual who runs Diversity, Parking and Company Events, to "organize a celebration of the roll-out of our latest release the "Karl 012.11".
Hugh, well trained as he is, sent me a Whatsapp which read: "Our recent release has been uninstalled by all our clients. Three key accounts wrote CEO Stan to shove the release up his bum. Yet the Comrade has asked to celebrate the release to the tune of $15000 dollars on a boat trip down the Volga". Hugh added if the Volga is a river in Russia, which I knew. ''Should we (you) ok it? Hugh White"
Not only did I ok the budget, but I upped it to $20,000 (Canadian). Victories celebrate themselves. Failures need to be dressed up as heroism and self sacrifice. Any idiot knows that. My history teacher, Gilles Levesque, told me when I was in Grade 2: "Gloria, can you understand how the bombing of Dresden was used as an opportunity to declare total war on the allies? If you can, you should be in HR".
I sent out an ok of the budget to Karl with the following note:
"Dear Comrade, Your nerds have shown bravery and steadfastness in the face of incompetence and sloppiness on the part of our ignorant clients. Let's drink to their health and celebrate their long service at minimum wage. We get what we pay for. Jubel.
Gloria
I got whiplash on this one Allon! On point as always.
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