Friday, 29 October 2021

Mass resignations and the HR lady

 

Green cards

I arrived a bit late this morning. Kim Kim, my manicurist, was late for my 8 am appointment, but due to my humanism and her cut-throat prices, I did not throw a hissy-fit.

Just as I was giving over the key to my footman to park my car at 910 AM, a WhatsApp popped up. "We quit effective immediately". Signed- Svetlana, Svetlana, Igor, Svetlana, Sanjay, Igor, Sanjay, Igor, Sanjay, Maya, Helen, and Paco."

Oh my, thought I, this hype about resignation has become reality. I need to get my coach on the phone. But my coach was meditating in Pune India, learning about the meaning of life without a mobile.

Upon entering the floor space of R&D, I was surprised to see all the nerds who had resigned, hard at work. Comrade Karl, our chief nerd, was handing out new passports, new T shirts, new laptops and a button which read "We work for Comrade Karl Technology: Screw HR, US Imperialism, and Intrinsic Motivation". 

Comrade Karl told me, "actually, no one quit, Gloria; we are reconfiguring the work place along class lines".

My phone rang and it was CEO Stan on the line; "have you gone mad, Gloria? Getting your nails done whilst Rome burns and Comrade Karl plays his violin...or something like that". 

I know that CEO Stan got confused with old Nero, who fiddled while Rome burnt. That's basic Classics 101.

I ordered in 15 pizzas with double cheese and peperoni, no anchovies and a case of Stella beer. I asked Miss Axe to prepare a few fresh-smelling green cards and stack them up.

And the mass resignation came tumbling down.



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