Hugh White coaches CEO Stan on Gender Pronouns for her New Years' Address

Hugh White on Gender

CEO Stan in a rare moment of honesty admitted that "human interaction in our company is shit ever since corona hit us; this pandemic is worse than our software".  

I was not surprised to learn of Stan's pessimism. The Board has banned all executive travel in first class , eliminated Stan's bonus, and "put my cajones in a clamp", to quote Stan himself, in her, no his, very own words. One of those words appears to be non-English.

Stan asked me to write a message to all the nerds for the new year, whether or not they celebrated the new year or not. Hugh White, the straight white boy who runs Diversity, told me that it is "counter culture" to assume that such a message would be appreciated. Hugh added, "Ms Gloria, Stan should at least be more cognizant of gender pronouns. She is very politically incorrect and this can be very insulting".

Sadly, Hugh's warning reached Stan's mailbox; she was furious. No, he was furious. I am getting confused. I told Hugh to desist and refrain from jumping overboard, as often happens, bombarding us with nonsense. Us meaning them, or us. I am not sure.

Hugh contacted her wife Ludmilla, who told Hugh not to get fired because they have no money, they being Hugh and her wife Ludmilla. No, Hugh and his wife Ludmilla. Again I am confused.

But Hugh couldn't control himself. That evening, Hugh (m) wrote an email to Stan (m).

Dear Stan,

Gender pronouns must be used appropriately. Otherwise, you may be labelled as bigoted, anti-Black, anti Semitic, Corbynist, and a running dog of the American imperialism.

Gloria is a great HR manager; help him succeed even more by using proper english, with a small e.

Tak,

Hugh White

PS You cannot fire me. I have pictures of you and Mr Cynthia Axe.

An Unknown Russian