I would rather have constipation for a week than hire a consultant or a coach.

Consultants? Mais non!

Consultants and coaches undermine HR's power and authority. If you ask me, I would rather have constipation for a week than hire a consultant or a coach. Believe me.

Here's why:

1.    HR's role as business partner basically negates (nice word) the need for any external assistance, because HR leverages AI.
2.    I always claim that our recruiting is flawless; if we hired a coach, what would that mean?
3.    Sometimes, consultants and coaches purvey non wow messages.  This is not in line with our core values of purveying good news.
4.  Non facilitated outdoor activities solve 95% of organizational problems. The other 5% can be solved by horseback riding. (I plan to open a training stable soon with my horse, Jean-Marie)
5.   When everything  fails, all you need to do is buy a German or Swiss blockchain.