A request for a few details, from the NSA

NSA asks for some small data

CEO Stan in his infinite wisdom has subjugated the IT department to HR.

Winston Wu, former head of an independent IT department and once a bitter foe, now eats out of the palm of my white hand.

I have renamed Wu's role as IT 'lead' and I gave him a role in the Diversity team.

Wu asked for a one on one this afternoon and wanted to "share" some information with me, in alignment with his core value of endearment.

Wu reported that 6 of our bums-turned-heroes Internet of things nerd have been visiting  Syria, Northern Malaysia/Southern Thailand, pushing our embryonic product "out there" in the 3rd world.

Based on this travel, the NSA is "showing interest" in our company. (I wish our clients were interested in our company like the NSA is).

Wu told me that an urgent request has been made by the NSA for the numbers of all corporate cellphones and their owners.

In the spirit of empowerment and talent management, I asked Wu what he suggested that we do. 

Based on Wu's suggestion, I texted Stan, who told me "handle the affair".

(Stan is being held captive by the bank).

Why do issues like this issue fall on my plate? Who needs an issue like this on her plate? This dilemma is worse than Chinese grammar.

I thought and thought, spending over 2 seconds until a solution came to mind. (I called my coach, who also pumps gas).

1-Personally, I see no reason to go to Syria, North Malaysia or South Thailand. 

2-The NSA will receive the data they asked for. 

3-The following text will be sent to all employees: "The HR department promotes National Security, and asks all employees to do so as well. Kindly use local sim cards on future travel".