In our management meeting this week (during which I sit next to CEO Stan in my seat-at-the-table), I was warned by Comrade Karl Marks that "we are on the brink of a huge melt down if there is mass resignation of our nerds. All our knowledge is oral tradition, all our code is handed down from generation to generation in Hindi, Greek, Hebrew, Spanish, Cantonese and Scottish English."
Comrade Karl was referring to the Cantonese dialect, and not Cantonese noodles with tofu. Scottish English is a form of English that English speakers don't fully, or partially, understand.
CEO Stan said that "mass resignations are not a bad thing, Comrade Karl. The code you guys write is all Greek to our users, and none of our users speak Greek. Did you know that Karl?"
Comrade Karl looked at CEO Stan and then at me: "Kibinimat Stan, stay on track, keep in line and shake a leg. Gloria, have you taken propylactic measures to prevent melt down".
My readers don't know yet, but soon I will be in Vienna. I have been practicing my German verbs, but nonezeless, I answered Karl en anglais, which means in English.
"Comrade Karl, as you know well, I am ahead of the pack. You will never find me straggling from behind or dithering in the rear. All our nerds have a stay bonus-they remain employed at our firm or they do not STAY in the USA. They are on a B737/9 visa. Furthermore, their passports are held in safe keeping in Moose Jaw, Canada, in my family's safety box. And, if one of them quits by ignoring all the constraints, we will blow up their home using a drone which I commissioned from a defector from the now almost-defunct Russian army."
At that Comrade Carl got furious. "Almost-defunct my ass Gloria. Who told you that, for Christ's sake? What are you smoking Gloria? Whatever it is, roll me a joint. Tak."
No comments:
Post a Comment