Wednesday 19 May 2021

Compensation Realignment after Corona

 


The so-called Corona virus forced HR, very much against our will, to deduct 45% of nerds' pecuniary compensation as our Sales went belly-up.

Nevertheless I did manage to transform the deducted  45% into intrinsic motivation units as well as an improved dental care package. 

Intrinsic motivation was augmented by pep talks given at first by Herr Krebbs our German CFO. However Herr Krebbs is a dry as a desert wind (although he has a German sense of humour). 

Thereafter, Ms Cynthia Axe, our downsizer, gave excruciatingly effective pep talks, with a nerd's severed head tucked underneath her arm.

Our ameliorated dental care allows one extraction every 14 months, or one visit to a dental hygienist every 5 years. We cover 30% of the parking fee as well. 

Apparently, with business booming, there is a work-compensation realignment issue on my hands.

Today, 4 nerds walked into my room, uninvited, and demanded to speak to me. Their names were Svetlana, Svetlana, Sanjay and Sanjay. They were all wearing T-shirts with the inscription: No money; no honey.

Apparently, these 4 nerds were acting under the auspices of Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd and chief product architect. Svetlana 1, the chief rabble rouser was holding a red flag and a copy of yesterdays' El Mundo Obrero. 

Every HR lady is judged in moments where quick decision making and steadfastness is needed. HR is not a tea party. HR is not paying taxes in Denmark. HR is not a university discourse. Non! Pas de tout, which is a French term.

I asked the 4 nerds to sit down, and excused myself for a call from my sister about her upcoming divorce. Not willing to be rude, I promised the 2 boys and the Svetlanas that I'd be back to them "in a timely fashion".








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