CONFIDENTIAL – FOR INTERNAL CIRCULATION ONLY

 CONFIDENTIAL – FOR INTERNAL CIRCULATION ONLY

TO: Senior Leadership, HR Global
FROM: [Redacted], Senior HR Business Partner, Global
DATE: [Today’s Date]
SUBJECT: Moscow Office Visit & Morale Assessment

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1. Добрая Весть (Good News)

• The blog in Russia has an unexpectedly large following. Location: uncertain.

• Stan has requested my presence at the Moscow office due to “morale challenges.”

  • Potential positive outcomes: Russian morale may improve. Stan may appear competent.

• Stan has provided tickets to a local cultural event: “киска бунт.”

• This constitutes the entirety of the good news.

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2. Плохие Новости (Bad News)

2.1 Morale Context

• Russian morale has been chronically low for years.

• Current resources: inadequate. Expected outcome: negligible.

• Proposed intervention: unknown. Feasibility: zero.

2.2 Scope Misalignment

• My role: GLOBAL HR, not local HR.

• Skill set: international strategy, not fluent Russian, not local office psychologist.

• Language barrier: Russian not spoken; no intention to learn. Literary resources excessively long; outcomes uniformly fatal.

2.3 Operational Concerns

• Travel duration: 3 days, including extensive traffic exposure.

• People tend to fall off buildings.

• Climate: extreme cold, potential impact on mobility, electronics, and morale.

• Technology readiness: Samsung 27 Ultra plus plus minus untested under Arctic-like conditions.

2.4 Leadership Behavior

• Stan’s directive: “Attend the show, maybe pick up some Russian.”

• Sustainability of approach: questionable. Strategic rationale: opaque. Alignment with global HR mandate: minimal.

2.5 Contingency

• Alternate coverage requested: Ms. Cynthia Ax, Head of Early Bird Retirement Plan.

• Availability: declined. Escalation path: unresolved.

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3. Strategic Considerations

1. Is sending a global HR leader to Moscow an effective morale intervention? Kibinimat.

2. Should local employees be learning English instead?

3. Is Stan’s behavior a repeatable model for leadership engagement?

4. Will technology function under severe environmental conditions?

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4. Preliminary Recommendation

• Recommend reviewing Stan’s directives for alignment with global HR responsibilities.

• Consider alternative interventions that do not require Arctic deployment.

• Ensure all corporate communications reflect role-specific expertise.

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End of Memo
Leaked draft. Handle with care.

It's not a disaster to change the emphasis of HR to Compliance! Case closed

Old fashioned HR ladies used to deal with recruitment, DEI, onboarding and axing excess fat from their organizations, using surgical and economic incentives. Furthermore, there was a lot of attention paid to corporate culture, training and compensation/benefits. Btw, we always paid minimum wage and confiscated passports of the illegals who work for us, but the illegal nerd is often the most loyal and compliant nerd.

Times change. Dad passed away 30 years ago, and Mum doesn't know the time of day. Mum is 132 years old, and her knees ache after a tennis game. But she still prods me on about getting married. Times change in HR as well. DEI is as dead as Dad (very). Training costs money and most everything else is done by AI, the gooks in IT, or outsourced. So, how does HR survive?

That is a good question.

I have a good answer.

HR survives via ensuring compliance. To be more direct, we create value to ensuring that everyone obeys what my Dad called QR&R-the Queen's Rules and Regulations. Now Queen E 2 is dead as well. and her son has taken over. But that is a diversion. Back to rules and regulations-we have regulations about just about everything. We deploy cameras everywhere and we monitor email, phone calls and even, as needed, sexual relations. And we use this data to herd the cats, and keep the ship afloat.

With the release of our new software package, some would claim that the ship won't be afloat for long, but as one US president said, "in the long run, we are all dead".

Tak. Case closed.