HR functions are particularly vital

Miss Axe- A vital function

I got a call from my Mom (Constance) today. "Gloria, did you not tell me that you have an assistant named Miss Cynthia Axe? Heavens, she appeared on the CBC today in one of my favourite programs, All About People". 

Dear readers, CBC is the Canadian Broadcasting Authority. Unlike my worldly late father Pierre Elliot who watched the BBC and US channels, Mom watches the CBC.

"Gloria, I did not know that firing people can be such a science! Heavens, it appears to me to be a ghastly way to earn money. Miss Axe claims that she does the actual work, whilst her colleague, a Canadian girl named Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux, does all the propaganda and sloganeering". 

Btw, my Mom uses the word "heavens" quite a lot.

Mom continued, "Anyway my dear daughter, I am proud that you allow your staff to expose themselves on the media. This gives you publicity as well. Mind you, her dressing is rather scanty". 

Readers, I never told you that Mom repeats herself. So the next thing she said was, "Gloria, did you know I saw your assistant, the young Ms Axe, on the CBC today?"

Finally Mom said, I just adore the HR melody that the CBC played  as they introduced Ms Axe. I never knew "Manpower" was so vital.

Unique New Years' Resolution of a Nerdish HR Manager

Daily

I am sitting in the business class lounge of Moose Jaw Aeroport (French) in Canada , heading home after spending the Christmas and New Years holiday with my mother Constance, who is loosing her memory. 

Before I left Maman served tea and crumpets and she asked me the same questions time and time again. 

• When are you going back down to the States to your job in Manpower?
• Why don't you ever close your cellphone, Gloria? What a horrid habit that is!
• Do you live with anyone, Ms Ramsbottom?
• Do you know how proud I would be of you if you did something more creative?

My Dad used to tell Maman not to serve "those tasteless dry crumpets, Constance, for Christ's sake". I remembered that, kissed Maman goodbye, and skated back to the airport.

I made 5 new year resolutions, one of which is to be more patient with the old Bird, as my Dad would have called Maman.

Here are the other 4 resolutions, which I texted ahead to my team, Cynthia Axe and Hugh White, the white heterosexual who manages Diversity,

Innovation: On a weekly basis, ensure that the ladies of HR adopt and master a new HR technology, daily.

Nerdify HR: Ensure that Internet of Things, Big Data, Cloud Computing as well as each and every buzzword is assimilated "in a timely fashion" to create and leverage a nerd-like taint to HR.

Global: On a periodic basis, re-tweet in French, daily-to ensure a global posturing.

Sustainable: Stay ahead of the curve by use of small data, gossip and innocuous facts, daily.