Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Obstacles to Implementing Big Data in HR

I'll have a small portion of big data


"Big Data" as a philosophical concept has always intrigued me, especially since Stan started using this term a few months ago. Before big data, HR always dealt in small chunks of data and viscous gossip.

Unwilling not to lead big data 'from an HR perspective",  I face three major barriers to take charge,  as it were.

1) Jean Marie, my all purpose training horse, who enables me to do "vendor free OD", refused to do a webinar on Introduction to  Big Data.

 "What the f--k is Big Data, Gloria?", Jean Marie asked me en francais whilst eating on his oats.

I explained to Jean Marie that Stan embraces the use of Big Data to "jump-start" Immature Products to the "next level of development". 

Jean Marie thought about it, and nevertheless, refused to do an "in depth" 90 second webinar on Big Data.

2) Miss Cynthia Axe (Head of our Early Bird Retirement Plan) has "trimmed" and "shaped" IT headcount during the last 30 quarters in what now appears to been pure recklessness! We have fired 4000 IT people.It makes HR appear "anti big-data"! 

3) My relationship with Winston Wu has been semi wow over the years. 
Winston Wu was our IT manager  and I re-positioned him out of the company; now he is now our external big data contractor, with a contract fatter than my sisters' ass.

I shall wine and dine my learned colleague Winston Wu at a French Restaurant called "Chez moi". 

Hugh White from Diversity told me to avoid an Asian restaurant.  (I love les mets chinois, as it were.)

Hugh White pays attention to the smallest of data.





5 comments:

  1. Glo -

    Please inform Winston that his name is not global - henceforth he should be called

    William Woo.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Ms Dura Mater
    I will do the latter.

    ReplyDelete
  3. At least Winston, er, Bill, Woo did not point fingers about the lack of data to be 'big' about, or its quality.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr Paul,
      Stan has clarified that the data must be huge; larger than the gut of the Mayor of Toronto, which is a city in Canada where many people speak English, and where it is very cold.
      Gloria

      Delete
  4. For glo -
    http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130527063838-64875646-what-the-hell-is-big-data?trk=mta-lnk

    ReplyDelete