The comrade emptied the tucker bag on the table in the lobby and lo and behold, out fell vaccines all encased in ice. There was the posh British vaccine, the Pfizer vaccine with the P that is not pronounced, the Russian Sputnik vaccine with the picture of a bear on all vials, and the Moderna vaccine, which the Europeans oked after thousands of minks called in ill somewhere in Scandinavia.
"Comrades", yelled Carl on his megaphone, "come down to the lobby to get the vaccine, kibinimat. We need to get life back to normal. We have been living like shit for too long. Workers -unite, get vaccinated, and we can overthrow the running dogs who inflicted this plague on us, and extract revenge by releasing new software".
Hugh White was sitting in his small, cramped cubicle reading a book entitled "Inoculation and Diversity". Hugh reads state of the art literature, making himself all the more nerdish and irrelevant. Yet, he does keep us diversity compliant, which is the only reason he still brings his salary home (to be delivered to his wife, Ludmilla White, nee Khrushchev).
Hugh ran into my office alarmed. "Gloria, stop the Comrade now! We will be sued. His inoculation programme is not complaint. When I hear the word "sued", I start to listen. Life is not easy for a boy named Sue.
Hugh gave me his "white paper", which was actually on black stationery, and I read it quickly, skimming thru it as if was a message on a dating site I use. I then galloped down to the lobby, and ordered Comrade Carl to cease and desist "until we can align this inoculation programme with diversity in a timely fashion".
Trotting back to office, I gave Hugh White the ok to send off the following email to the all-list.
"In accordance with HR's core value of People First and Profit Second, we will begin inoculation against the so called corona virus today.
C level executives will be inoculated in their offices with the vaccine of their choice.
Those wishing to get vaccinated in their thigh or bum are asked to wait discretely in the lobby at 6 PM.
People of color including various shades of off-white, will not get the Russian vaccine, unless the opt for it.
People with various disabilities can, at their convenience, meet with Hugh White, to arrange a vaccine aligned with their needs; kindly bring a class B diversity-certificate in English signed by a notary in order that you get preferential treatment ".
Sometimes, I must admit, I am proud not only to be a thought leader, but also a lady of action and praxis. Oui.