|Place a bet|
Miss Cynthia Axe who heads our re-sizing department is to open a re-sizing portal, as we reshape our company, in preparation for our 2019 growth strategy.
The goal of the portal is to enable a wow resizing axe-perience, as we realign our axe-penses "to facilitate growth". I love the word "facilitate". 80 people will be "released" by Dec 2015.
The portal will enable nerds to place a bet as to whether or not they are being resized, thus making re-sizing fun. For a correct guess, one gets a free coupon to our webinar on "virtual parenting." For a wrong guess, a 5 USD fine is levied, which makes HR into a business partner. My grade 4 teacher was Mrs Levy-McClean, which appears to have mixed ethnicity.
Bottom line, we want all our people to feel gr8, both those who remain behind and those thrown over board in a positive fashion, as it were.