Dear ladies,
Before I issued this email for women's day 2023, Gloria, the first lady of HR, Prof Gloria to be more accurate, gave me some background information. To be honest, I have been busy with the banks, angry clients, creditors and learning to operate our blockchain which now has a Portuguese interface. But women as such cannot be ignored anymore.
Gloria is my loyal HR business partner and sensor/censor. She is the epitome of what makes HR great. She is obedient, orderly, efficient and process driven. And she feigns empathy as needed.
Gloria told me that her Dad, the late Pierre Elliot Ramsbottom, used to refer to working women as "members of the ATS". Gloria also told me, by the way, that gawking at Ms Cynthia Axe's bum is no longer common accepted practice.
Even though I am an unworldly American, I clicked and read about the ATS to please my sweet Gloria and the other ladies of HR on Women's Day 2023. My my-what a wonderful bunch of gals they were.
For my 2023 Womens Day gift, I have sent all ladies in our firm a book about Gertrude Bell; Miss Bell opposed women's suffrage but she was a hard working independent lady with no children. As well, any lady wishing to a diet class can get a $5 reimbursement, if she loses more than 10 kilos.
I would also like to thank all the dainty "ladies" of our company, especially those without young children.
First, to Executive Vice President of HR Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux: thank you for the business partnership and thanks for sending Wifey roses on Valentines Day when I forgot. Most of all thanks for your loyalty to my regime. As you say in French, mercy! Or something like that.
To the lovely and shapely Miss Cynthia Axe, 'Head of Early Bird Retirement" thank you for swinging your axe with such vigour, as we "re-size" our company-heading for growth in 2023. I love your new sweater and promise to keep my eyes and hands off your svelte rear end.
To all our lady engineers many of whom are named Svetlana or Natalie and other foreigners, who have adopted Virtual Parenting, to raise their noisy obnoxious brats. Thanks and spasiba.
Ladies, remember to keep putting the work back in work life balance.
And thanks to all the pregnant staff, male and female, who have agreed to travel by Greyhound.
And my dear wifey, thanks for the many management articles you leave me in the toilet on bots, blockchain and artificial intelligence (AI) for my daily perusal.
Loves, hugs and kisses,
CEO Stan
PS I used to support the birth of a first child at 55, "as per business needs, and the good of the mother." I have been advised that this is no longer wise.
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Ladies of the ATS
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Source of foto: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auxiliary_Territorial_Service#mediaviewer/File:Women_of_the_Auxiliary_Territorial_Service_unload_rifles.jpg
