Oh my goodness. We have a manpower shortage.
4% of our nerds who took home leave never returned and "their fate is still unlearned"; my guess is that they were recruited into a regulated or semi regulated militia.
10% of the nerds evaporated into thin air and cannot be accounted for. They all have same names: either Moshe, Svetlana, Ng or Pankad. Because of issues with our IT system, we are 'clarifying the issue of their whereabouts at the moment'. Please bear with us.
6% of the nerds went Spain to meet a client and got severe indigestion after a meal at 23.00 (11PM) and have not yet returned. That was a month ago.
Recruitment efforts are moving along, but not necessarily forward, if you get my drift. I presented some very big data at a meeting dedicated to 'filling up the dwindling ranks'; I beleive it was Comrade Carl Marks who noted, 'Gloria, stop blowing smoke up our ass, yob tvou mat. The ship is sinking'.
Following Comrade Carl's non-poignant remarks, CEO Stan, who is watching the latest Borgen episodes, suggested recruiting geeks from Greenland, or more specifically Nuuk. I told CEO Stan that apparently some of the candidates from Greenland could be chronically drunk or child abusers. Comrade Carl said, 'that cannot be; it is part of Scandinvia'. I told Carl, 'not exactly.'
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| End systemic racism |
Hugh White, the straight white boy who runs our Diversity and Inclusion program, was invited to provide suggestions. He stressed the need to put an end to systemic racism stating, 'We need to be intersectional, more or less'.
Our CEO, Stan, passed me a note which read 'why the fuck are we still paying him a salary for! It's a rich man's world'!
