Friday 2 January 2015

Unique New Years' Resolution of a Nerdish HR Manager

I am sitting in the business class lounge of Moose Jaw Aeroport (French) in Canada , heading home after spending the Christmas and New Years holiday with my mother Constance, who is loosing her memory. 

Before I left Maman served tea and crumpets and she asked me the same questions time and time again. 
  • When are you going back down to the States to your job in Manpower?
  • Why don't you ever close your cellphone, Gloria? What a horrid habit that is!
  • Do you live with anyone, Ms Ramsbottom?
  • Do you know how proud I would be of you if you did something more creative?
My Dad used to tell Maman not to serve "those tasteless dry crumpets, Constance, for Christ's sake". I remembered that, kissed Maman goodbye, and skated back to the airport.

I made 5 new year resolutions, one of which is to be more patient with the old Bird, as my Dad would have called Maman.

Here are the other 4 resolutions, which I texted ahead to my team, Cynthia Axe and Hugh White, the white heterosexual who manages Diversity,

Innovation: On a weekly basis, ensure that the ladies of HR adopt and master a new HR technology, daily.
Nerdify HR: Ensure that Internet of Things, Big Data, Cloud Computing as well as each and every buzzword is assimilated "in a timely fashion" to create and leverage a nerd-like taint to HR.
Global: On a periodic basis, re-tweet in French, daily-to ensure a global posturing.
Sustainable: Stay ahead of the curve by use of small data, gossip and innocuous facts, daily.

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