Nose to the ground |
If l keep my ears to the ground, I notice there are plenty of external factors I need to take into account in order to forge our new HR strategy. 2020 presents some interesting challenges. By the way, I always keep my ears to the ground.
Following my survival instincts, I decided that I need to "put my foot on the gas" vis a vis (French) climate change. Thus no one except senior management will fly for business trips any more.
For "rank and file" travel needs, I am presently negotiating a corporate
discount with Greyhound Buses, Arriva and Amtrak. So that takes care of 2020 social
responsibility and our carbon footprint plan, as it were.
Wellness is also a
major issue on my plate. In previous years, we have provided free 10 mgs of
Cipralex for Sales Staff, and Pervitin
stuka tabletten for our nerds to ensure that they meet our benignly aggressive deadlines.
To meet my 2020 wellness goals,
this needs to change pronto. I am upping the dosage of Cipralex to 20 mg, and adding an
Ariply (Ablify) tablet; this should keep our sales people happy and jocund.
For the nerds, Pervitin will be replaced by Liminal Space Mindfulness Seminars, piped into the open space areas of R&D, including the toilets.
For the nerds, Pervitin will be replaced by Liminal Space Mindfulness Seminars, piped into the open space areas of R&D, including the toilets.
I do know that HR is not the most
popular function in the company and I need to address this in a timely fashion.
So I am doing a survey of who exactly does not appreciate us, after
which I will take corrective action, to be carried out by a recently
energized Ms Axe, who in now on Pervitin.
Finally everyone needs to develop
their own “skilly skill skills“. 2020 is no different. I have planned
an Improve your English Accent Training Video, which will be
available to all our staff who blubber, confuse, tap-dance, mutter, dither and fumble their
way through communicative tasks due to their tribal tongue interfering with
proper English.
Our Swiss blockchain will provide me a dashboard which will monitor progress, daily.
Our Swiss blockchain will provide me a dashboard which will monitor progress, daily.
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