Health care is a cornerstone of our recruitment strategy. Every illegal nerd that disembarks the boat knows that we provide health care that simply was not available in the homelands from which these nerds emanate. Leveraging these health benefits as well as one hot meal a day, we manage to be the employer of choice for some nerds.
So what is it that is so attractive in health plan? Well, an old Canadian commercial used that say that most shoppers shop at Dominion 'mainly because of the meat'. So here is the meat of our health plan.
Each nerd gets one free MRI a year, on any organ he (or she for that matter), chooses. Even if nothing hurts, an MRI is available. Travel to and from the rustic clinic (in Halifax) is by Greyhound at a small cost. Details on our website.
A free pack of Cipralex is provided for all nerds in pre sales. Nerds in Customer Service get an Abilify boost for their Cipralex and a framed copy of the Sykes-Picot agreement.
Headaches, backaches and toothaches are all dealt with by our in house medic (фельдшер), Dr Alexei Feldsher, who served in the Red Army in the 1930s.
If surgery is needed, all nerds get 30 US dollars towards a Ryanair ticket to Sweden, where the authorities have a good reputation for compassion.
I do know that many HR managers and leading professionals may ask, 'where does that HR lady procure her innovative abilities?' Well, there are those us who think and those of us who do. I'm both, thanks in no small part to my Swiss and German blockchain.