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In today's post, I shall share with you, my loyal readers, innovations to our new labour contract.
I generally do not share my thought leadership free of charge; this having been said, sometimes I cannot control my selflessness and I cave in, from an HR perspective. So let me roll out the whole story.
I generally do not share my thought leadership free of charge; this having been said, sometimes I cannot control my selflessness and I cave in, from an HR perspective. So let me roll out the whole story.
I just returned from a meeting with our labour relations
lawyer, to whom I explained needed refinements to our existing employee contract. I constructed these refinements using an Austrian blockchain which was assembled in Hungary.
The lawyer-boys
heard me out, promising that within a week, it will all be word-smithed and ready for launch.
By the way, in grade school, there were twin girls in my class, Sheila and Sharon Wordsmith.
By the way, in grade school, there were twin girls in my class, Sheila and Sharon Wordsmith.
Some of the changes in the contract may be perceived overly liberal, yet I
promise my readers that Liberal is not my middle name. Alas, I was never given
a middle name. Had I been given such a name, I would have been called "People".
Now to the meat. These are the main points which will be introduced into our labour contract.
1-Long term employment is not in anyones’ interest. It is an old fashioned and stodgy concept. Employees agree that being fired by text is part of the deal, Lucille.
2-Clearly, salaries and other pecuniary perks will be aligned with client payment schedules
3-Employees understand that discretionary effort and running an extra mile are our core values, augmented by intrinsic motivation and willingness for self-sacrifice.
4-Mobile phones are to be left open; calls are to be answered seamlessly within 3 rings. During bio-breaks and sexual activity, the phone will be set on vibrate.
5-Remember and respect the HR lady, so that your days may long upon the Earth.
Now to the meat. These are the main points which will be introduced into our labour contract.
1-Long term employment is not in anyones’ interest. It is an old fashioned and stodgy concept. Employees agree that being fired by text is part of the deal, Lucille.
2-Clearly, salaries and other pecuniary perks will be aligned with client payment schedules
3-Employees understand that discretionary effort and running an extra mile are our core values, augmented by intrinsic motivation and willingness for self-sacrifice.
4-Mobile phones are to be left open; calls are to be answered seamlessly within 3 rings. During bio-breaks and sexual activity, the phone will be set on vibrate.
5-Remember and respect the HR lady, so that your days may long upon the Earth.
When I left the lawyers office, one of the young interns walked me to my car, carrying my briefcase.
The lawyers have a way of making me feel like a million dollars. It provides me with meaning.
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