Thursday, 7 February 2019

Artificial Intelligence vs my intelligence

Certain people

Certain people (whom I won't mention) have made a big deal about the use of artificial intelligence in the field of human resources.

I won't mention them in line with my core values of muddying the water to catch the fish. If you get my drift.

In our senior management meeting this morning, our chief nerd Comrade Carl Marks commented, "yop tvoyu mat, Gloria, you and your free lunchers in HR are dead meat. Within a year, you`ll all be replaced by a bot, a bitcoin and a blockchain".

In a moment of rare risk taking (I prefer that others take risks), I told Comrade Carl that I challenge any form of Artificial Intelligence to battle of wits.

I looked the Comrade straight into the whites of his eyes and asked, "do you prefer that a bot prepare a wellness program for your nerds that work all night, so that they continue to do so, 24 hours a day for three months straight"? 

Gathering more nerve, I stood up and pointed my finger at the Comrade and in my shrill voice said, "Sonny-boy, would you like a blockchain to re-design the salary slip that no one understands, just like the one I designed?" 

I had a bit more wind in me, and although I was very tired, I threw one more punch, "Comrade Carl, would you prefer that anti-union activity be orchestrated by an algorithm? Answer me, Comrade Carl, or I'm walking out and I will resign, kibinimat." Carl was dazed by my Russian language mastery. Russian is a very good language by which to swear.

Comrade Carl fell to his knees and kissed my feet, just like various holy men kiss poor peoples' feet, here and there. "Gloria, I'm sorry Baby. Forgive me, the fool that I am."

The fool that I am

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