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| Only the best |
“Gloria, the board is concerned about that fact that after receiving a green card, a great many nerds leave our company. This
reflects very poorly on both HR and your personal standing. We have a board meeting on Wednesday to
thrash out this issue. Prepare your way to wiggle out of this mess, or make a
plan to return home to Canada on a one way ticket, in economy class. Thanks and
have a good day. CEO Stan”
Reading the above email at 2 pm
today changed my schedule. I had planned to go to Pilates at 4 pm and then have
my hair done, so I shuffled my timetable. I went to Pilates at 420 pm and
thereafter to the hairdresser.
The question may be asked, fairly
enough, what I did within 20 minutes? Well, the answer is that I put on my
thinking cap and came up with an answer for the board. Then, I emailed Stan
the following e-missive and backed up the email with a Whatsapp and text.
Dear Stan,
I worship the ground that you
walk on. You are my leader and you deserve only the best. Since I am the best,
as it were, here is my retort for the board.
Since too much data is confusing,
I have tried to make everything simple, as behooves our board, whom you have in
the past referred to as “a bunch of fucking hacks.”
Let’s take three years, 2007,
2019 and 2031, the latter being based on artificial projective intelligence.
The average nerd stayed in our company 2 years after receiving a green card.
Not included in this statistic are nerds from countries without airports, and nerds
whose native language is not English. I
would like to remind you that some green cards are confiscated for safekeeping in the HR safe before delivery, so please “factor this in”.
So, all in all, I don’t see any
problem whatsoever from an HR perspective.
If you want to chat with me, just send me a Whatsapp,
text me, or call me, or all three.
Gloria
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| Prepares for Wednesday meeting |
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