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| Leading my team in global challenges, daily |
Ms Cynthia Axe, our downsizer, and Mister Hugh White, the white heterosexual boy who runs Diversity, sat with me all morning planning the Christmas event.
Ms Axe appeared somewhat agitated during the meeting because she will be spending the holidays visiting her father, the Reverend Oliver Axe.
I noticed that Hugh White had a book with him, "The Joys of Celibacy", which is understandable since Hugh and his wife Ludmilla have seen happier days.
Four major challenges faced our planning team.
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| Celibacy |
1) 87% of our nerds have ancestry which is not aligned with celebrating Christmas. Miss Axe happened to mutter, "we are in America, so they should do it our way". Hugh White , always the diplomat, said we need to respect everyone.
2) One day before the Christmas party, we are downsizing 2% of our staff, and another 2% as well, making that 4 %. Our estimation is that this is not a big issue, simply business as usual. But we will "factor this in" by providing more alcoholic beverages.
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| Burning issues |
3) Our CEO, Stan, has asked that the party take place in a room without chairs, meaning we all have eat standing up. Stan's hemorrhoids are flaming again, and he wants to avoid being the only one who eats standing on his feet. He also asked to "cut back on the spicy food, for Christ sake". Hugh White noted that the only food that our nerds eat is spicy, 88% of the time, which shows I am data driven.
4) Our Finance Team, headed by Mister Herr Krebbs, has hired lady 2 accountants from Spain, both of whom wear glasses. Their names are too long to mention. They have asked that supper be served at 11 pm. Hugh explained that the Spanish have "different digestive systems, and we need to respect this.
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| Gloria and Miss Axe |
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