Wednesday, 23 August 2017

Gloria Sherlock Ramsbottom and Recruitment

A wet Syrian passport

Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd, decided to hire 3 nerds immediately to debug the former version of our product since the new version is still 'pre embryonic'.

Ms Cynthia Axe, our chief down-sizer, suddenly found herself with tasked with hiring, which is akin to the Pope being asked to run an abortion clinic, if you get my drift.

However Ms Axe, fearful of her eroded reputation, wanted to avoid hiring mistakes and as such, each interview was taking over half an hour. Comrade Carl, under severe pressure, texted me to 'get Cynthia to move her white ass and expedite the hiring process, or I will hold your feet the fire Gloria. Don't fuck with me, Gloria.'

Comrade Carl's anger problem is managed by a series of medications, some of which missing from the chemists' shelf.

All of these events came as I was reading a  Sherlock Holmes novel as I have a date in six weeks with a detective.

I wandered down near the room where Ms Axe was interviewing and 3 candidates were awaiting their interview. Axe was running 2 hours behind time.

I went into the room where Ms Axe was preparing an excel sheet, comparing candidates. 'Axe' I exclaimed, 'hire the three candidates sitting outside. The first on the right is a refugee of the illegal ilk. He shall work in the parking lot. The one in the middle is an Israeli. He shall work with Comrade Carl's "AI-Bot Algorithm Team". The third is a jocund Dane. Hire her as well, and she will deal with customer anger issues. I imagine the names of the candidates are Said, Moshe and Maya, in that order.'

Elementary my dear Axe

Axe fell on her knees and kissed me hand. 'How did you know that Gloria? You are amazing. You appear to have the divine inspiration.'

'Elementary my dear Axe. Said has a wet Syrian passport in his pocket. Moshe is arguing with himself. Maya is happy and smiling although she is looking for a job'.

As far as their names are concerned, I guessed.

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