Monday, 12 December 2016

it is no secret that CEO's are managed by the incompetence of their followers

Discretion is the mother of virtue

CEO Stan's wife, aka Wifey, stayed up late last night reading a cunning management article. Instead of making Stan breakfast this morning, she left him a note as she had read and reread the article until 3 am. As a result of the aforementioned note, Stan called me into his office at 9 am.

"Gloria, it is no secret that CEO's are managed by the incompetence of their followers. I am a classic example of this Greek tragedy. And I don't have one drop of Greek blood in my ancestry. Probably the most incompetent follower I have is Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd. Christ Gloria, he is useless as tits on a bull. Have you seen how many pills he pops? Have you any idea how dysfunctional our products are?!"

Stan continued, "I want you to hire a Chief Technology Officer, who will work in parallel and synergize with Comrade Carl. Over a period of time, I will marginalize the Comrade and the CTO will take over, seamlessly. Gloria, the entire hiring process and the eventual outcome must be kept top secret. Comrade Carl is not to know anything about this plan. Gloria, I will deport you back to Canada if this all leaks out, and you will freeze your ass off in the long cold winters up there".

(Dad told me that no one is worse at keeping secrets than the British intelligence).

Stan and I shook hands and I walked back to my room. Sitting in my chair was none other than Comrade Carl Marks. Carl was listening to Russian music and smoking a joint.

The comrade look at me with seething anger in his eyes. "Gloria, Stan just sent me a text that you are conspiring to replace me. Kibinimat, what type of suka are you?

Carl appeared disappointed

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