Sunday, 23 October 2016

Use of data analytics for revenue forecasting-case study

A huge surge of adrenaline 

Stan the Man

There are no Danes on our management team. Danes tends to be the happiest people on earth, which is why perhaps they avoid our company like the plague.

Even if there was a Dane on our management team, he (or she) would not have been happy or jocund in our management meeting today, which dealt with revenue projection for Q4 and Q1. Notice the word jocund.

Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd, predicted that "every Tom, Dick, Harry and Svetlana will eventually buy our killer applications. Short term revenue forecasting is a futile exercise, for sissies". The comrade also suggested that instead of "fooling around with the numbers", we should plan the celebration party for when "our numbers will beat Samsung before the Note 7 debacle".

Herr Krebbs, our eccentric CFO of German stock asked CEO Stan for permission to reply. Stan said, "this is not Germany for Christ's sake Krebbs, say what you want without asking for fucking permission". As HR business partner, I suggested than Stan note that there was a lady in the room, namely me.

Krebbs said: "Ze numpers are deluzzional, like ze comrade himzelv. We need data, and ve need a zanity check on our bazic azzumptions. Ja. Danke!"

Comrade Carl stood up, pointed a finger at Krebbs, and told him, "that's why you all lost the Battle of Stalingrad!"

Stan told me, "Gloria, do your job and  calm the boys down. Please set in place a clear HR process for revenue projection which factors in Carl's optimism and Herr Krebb's reservations. You have 2 hours to finish this mission."

After the meeting was adjourned, I felt a huge surge (Serge is a French name) of adrenaline, although I still don't understand what data analytics is. Yet.

No comments:

Post a Comment