Thursday, 8 September 2016

Job titles in the digital world

  My views on job titles

Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd who takes Cipralex with vodka, confronted me in our senior management meeting. "Kibinimat Gloria, our job titles are way out of date; they lack dignity and stateliness".

Our CEO Stan asked the comrade what he meant by stateliness? Comrade Carl did not answer Stan's question, preferring to tell us all that he has renamed his conference room after  Vladimir Putin.

Stan confronted told me, "Gloria what are your ideas about job titles? After all, I want my team to be happy. Did you know that all Danes, for example, are happy?"

When I studied HR (along with supply chain, IT and data science) at the Secretaries' Academy of Montreal, my teacher Mr. Guillaume Plouffe, said that job titles are almost never needed, except for a few exceptions.

  1. to inflate people's importance because they are underpaid
  2. to retain people that cannot be promoted
  3.  to retain nerds whose passports we do not keep in safekeeping until they get a green card,  because they were born in normal countries.

Mr Plouffe also said that "in Asia, job titles are more important, because people are aware of their status." By the way, Mr Plouffe sold worms on the weekend to folks who headed north to fish.

Have I told you about my new business card?
It reads
Gloria Ramsbottom Lemieux
Senior Executive Vice President of Human Resources
Chief People Officer, Change Manager, 
and Coach. Owner of 4 blockchains, one of the German


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