Monday, 23 May 2016

6 types of toilets for our diverse staff

The beauty of working for an American company is that you end up focusing on strategic issues, like abortion, and who uses which toilet.
(In Canada HR deals with languages issues and in Denmark, with fishing rights.)

In line with my core values of cheap publicity and being au courant (which is a French term), our Q3 strategic plan calls for aligning our toilets with diversity.

Before making my strategic decision on the six types of toilets, I read social media, read a few North Carolina/Mississippi based newspapers, consulted with the white straight boy Hugh White who runs our Diversity Program, and used my common sense.

My common sense (not big data) has made me whom I am today, from an HR perspective.

The six types of toilets are as follows-

1-For men (of all colour)
2-For women (of most colours)
3-For Kathoey
4-For people who crap whilst talking on their cellphone. (Crap was a word my Dad used.)
5-For Stan, our CEO
6-For HR business partners

People who read this blog know that I am a traditional girl, a process HR gal, as it were. But the time has come to take a great leap forward 大跃进 . I cannot leave all HR innovation to the Germans.

To be honest, although I miss my Dad Pierre Elliot, were he alive today he would have told me "you are out of your fucking mind, Gloria".


God Bless Mississippi


3 comments:

  1. Allon
    I think that Gloria should prepare the organization to the possibility that some japanese will join the corporate. Thier toilets are cutting edge technology including 2 types of washing stream as well as heated seat.
    Next week Obama is going to Hiroshma so if he could tell there that an American corporate is adopting the Japanese hygiene culture it would be a gesture that will help the Japanese to forgive US for the atomic attack.
    P.s
    while Obama is back you can invite him to inaugurate the new toilet.I am sure it will be the best marketing event the company ever had or will have.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Merci, this is a very good idea. Gloria
      PS-who is Allon?

      Delete
  2. Allon is Gloria's hidden mentor

    ReplyDelete