Friday, 11 March 2016

I am disclosing a secret-we have a uber CFO

My new peer is Herr Krebbs

I admit it! Fearing a disaster, I hid some information from my readers. One month ago, we hired a uber CFO and I did not disclose this. Now that things are ok, and in line with my core values of functional transparency, I will bring you all up to speed on this very positive development.

Herr Alfred Krebbs joined our dream team and has a seat at the table next to me; Herr Krebbs is a German who has relocated to the States for a period of three years in line with our core values of US based globalism. 
On arrival, the ladies of HR presented him with a American flag and a baseball cap. CEO Stan welcomed Krebbs with a terse statement-"take care of the banks, Krebbs-confuse them with facts-that's why I hired you".

Herr Krebbs is also a peer of Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd, whose hobby/fetish is reading books about the Battle of Stalingrad.
CEO Stan manages Herr Krebbs directly;  Stan is already "still having problems with his European mentality and accent", to quote Stan.

Today I submitted a report by text to Stan about Herr Krebbs' on-boarding, in line with my core value of data free performance appraisal. 
Herr Krebbs had worked (verked) in a Danish company, but left because "everyone was too happy. You cannot mix verk and pleasure", Krebbs told me laconically.
I have noticed that Herr Krebbs appears to be driven for a desire for a huge amount of detail. "Ve cannot make desizions zis vay", said Herr Krebbs, referring to Comrade Carl's hallucinatory  sales forecast; Carl believes that "great products sell themselves, and our product is a pearl despite falling sales". 

Herr Krebbs is also quite practical- "Komrade Karl is a looz kannon, Fräulein Ramsbottom. Fvy don't you arrange zom help for him?" I also noted that Herr Krebbs' office is very neat and when he answers the phone, he says, "Krebbs", which appears to me to be a German tribal tradition.

Krebbs and Comrade Carl Marks have had one run in. It happened when Krebbs noticed the picture of Marshall Zhukov on the eccentric comrade's desk. "Zis is unaczeptable. He is a Wahnsinnege."

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