Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Uber HR

Transactional Machiavellian-ism

Hi Gloria,

This is a private note just to tell you how much I admire you, although we lock horns all the time.

I must admit that your blog has made me famous and I thank you for that. I promise never to share with your readers the fact that that every time I am featured in your blog, readership soars. Your blog is all about you, Babes, and I would take off my hat to you, if I wore one. No one wears a hat anymore, blacha mucha.

As I have come to know you, not in the Biblical sense, I have "come" to realize  that you are an "HR essentialist". Yes, you vacillate from slogan to slogan, from data to intuition, from business partnership to people day, from boot-licking CEO Stan to kissing his hairy ass. However, all this is consistent with HR essentialism.
Gloria baby, you have taught me about the set of attributes which are necessary to the identity,  function and long term survival of HR: Machiavellian transactionalism, loyalty to the regime whilst remaining semantically au courant, agile ethical pliability, procedures, policing and good common sense. And your legs don't do any damage either.

Political correctness does not enable Obama et al to understand foreign policy, especially Mid-Eastern affairs and the plans of Comrade Putin. And Trump appeals to the vastly undereducated well fed Americans who want more revenge after 9/11. While my heart is with Obama on most issues, I have always wanted a heavier hand in foreign policy. And whilst I want a heavy hand in foreign policy, that hand  needs to be connected to a brain. Sorry for digressing, but I needed to get that off my chest kibinimat.

Gloria, I drink to your health. Le-chaim, even though you are not Jewish, nor am I.

Eleanor Roosevelt said that "a woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." I salute you!  You are the ultimate uber HR manager. Please provide me big data for the Q1 2016 bonuses.

A kiss on your frigid cold Canadian cheek,

Comrade Carl Marks
VP Big Data

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