Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Servant leadership of Big Data Nerds

Poshel na hui 

Our CEO Stan laid down the law today in our senior management meeting when he looked at Chief Nerd Comrade Carl Marks in the eye and said to him, "Comrade Carl, if you serve your big data nerds instead of beating them down, the abysmally poor quality of our software will improve". 

Then Stan pointed at me and demanded I support Comrade Carl's implementation of servant leadership, so that his big data nerds become as "happy as the average Dane".

Comrade Carl and I immediately exchanged text messages, agreeing to meet at 6 pm for a beer. I avoid all alcohol, and I was planning to have a Pepsi Max and some almonds. However, when I got the following email from the Comrade at 5 pm, I understood our rendez-vous (which is a French word) was off.

Dear Gloria,
I was shocked when you agreed to work with me on servant leadership, as per the guidance of Stan, our myopic CEO.
Christ Gloria, look at the Middle East. Political regimes look at their own civilians as a real threat, not as a client to be served. And these regimes build huge security apparatus to squelch opposition, nipping it in the bud. The civilians are kept on a leash, and believe you me, people are "engaged", or dead, gestorben. ( I know what gestorben means. G R-L)
All our nerds come from the third world: Pakistan, Iraq, Syria, Israel, India, Chad, Iran, China and Mother Russia. So, if I become their servant leader, I am dead. What I need is a security apparatus, spies, bribes and uniforms to hand out. Not servant leadership. Poshel na hui, I live in a nut house.
Our 6 pm meeting is cancelled, kibinimat.
With affection,
Comrade Carl Marks

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