Our CEO's better half and I have lunch once a month, in line with my core values of "keep your friends close and your enemies closer".
Today was the day! Wifey had vegetables with a tahini dip, and I had a some rye bread and herring.
During lunch, Wifey told me that "the more I read about French labour law, the more I respect them. They never ever fire staff and when they do, management never sends them home empty handed. Being fired in France has a unique user experience, just like in liberal Scandinavia!"
Wifey then suggested that I try to introduce this practice into our company by the end of the week. "After all Gloria, you come from a very socialist country yourself." Wifey was referring to Canada.
I guess that I should have consulted with Ms Axe and Hugh White, the white heterosexual who runs diversity, about how to "process" Wifey's comments. But every time I do consult them, I get added negative value. If you ask me, all HR managers need to learn to feign interest in their lackeys' input.
After thinking the matter through for 5 minutes, I updated Wifey that all employees over 60 whom we axe will get any two of the following 5 items, as long as they have 40 years seniority.
1-a hat with the embroidered emblem of our firm
2-a map of Klaksvik
4-a voucher for a day tour of Raqqa
Wifey texted me, "Gloria, you outdid yourself; you are an Uber HR manager".
Wednesday, 21 October 2015
Uber HR manager
Comrade Carl Marks, our Chief Nerd, brought me up to speed about his plans for Mental Health Day. "Gloria", Carl bellowed,"...
Glo at her best
I don`t care about your wives or sisters Our white-skinned and sexually straight Head of Diversity, Hugh White, conducted a survey ...
The greatest HR achievement from the corona period is the introduction of tele-medicine policy for our staff, nerds and senior management ...
Ms Axe ( right) and I I summoned a certain Ms Axe (Cynthia), our down-sizer, to a face to face meeting dedicated to formulating a new ...
It has been a long time since our management team met face to face. Our CEO's wife, aka 'Wifey', had demanded from her hus...
Preparation H Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd, suggested today in our Core Team Management Meaning conducted by Zoom, that the ...
Guide to Working on site in Capsules to avoid spread of Corona Virus using brilliant Israeli artificial intelligence and common senseNo more teletrabajo. Tak Comrade Carl Marks, our chef nerd, Head of Product Development and Head of User Experience, went directly t...