Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Uber HR manager

Nice package

Our CEO's better half and I have lunch once a month, in line with my core values of "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". 
Today was the day! Wifey had vegetables with a tahini dip, and I had a some rye bread and herring.

During lunch, Wifey told me that "the more I read about French labour law, the more I respect them. They never ever fire staff and when they do, management never sends them home empty handed. Being fired in France has a unique user experience, just like in liberal Scandinavia!" 

Wifey then suggested that I try to introduce this practice into our company by the end of the week. "After all Gloria, you come from a very socialist country yourself." Wifey was referring to Canada.

I guess that I should have consulted with Ms Axe and Hugh White, the white heterosexual who runs diversity, about how to "process" Wifey's comments. But every time I do consult them, I get added negative value. If you ask me, all HR managers need to learn to feign interest in their lackeys'  input.

After thinking the matter through for 5 minutes, I updated Wifey that all employees over 60 whom we axe will get any two of the following 5 items, as long as they have 40 years seniority.

1-a hat with the embroidered  emblem of our firm
2-a map of Klaksvik 
3-this autographed black and white picture of Ms Axe and me.

4-a voucher for a day tour  of Raqqa 

Wifey texted me, "Gloria, you outdid yourself; you are an Uber HR manager".







No comments:

Post a comment

Rolling out Plans for Mental Health Day

  Comrade Carl Marks, our Chief Nerd, brought me up to speed about his plans for Mental Health Day. "Gloria", Carl bellowed,"...

Glo at her best