Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Social responsibility and the Syria refugees

Avanti popolo

The white heterosexual who runs Diversity, Hugh White, stormed into our management meeting and asked, "what are we doing about the Syrian refugee problem, in line with our core values of social responsibility?"

CEO Stan was aghast, since Hugh came in just as we were discussing the short fall of sales and angry customer complaints from key users. "Gloria, get that weirdo out of the room, or you are fired." Stan yelled at me.

But Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd, asked Stan if he could say a few words before Hugh left the room. Stan agreed, in line with his core value of inconsistency.

"The Syrian refugees do have a lot of characteristics of our nerds. They are highly mobile, they do not speak English, and the establishment perceives them as disposables. I suggest that HR launch a campaign to hire 40,000 refugees. Gloria, as first lady of HR, what do you think"?

I do not know too much about Syria, except that I had a classmate named Lynda whose parents came from Syria or Lebanon.  And I remember that her mom made great food and always complained how cold it was in Canada.

I do know however that core values  must be be ignored, but not overtly.
I said, "Comrade Carl, I will weave this into our 2016 stretch goals. Kindly provide job descriptions so that HR can move forward". 
"Kibinimat, Gloria, why does HR always put obstacles in our way. Avanti Popolo!" was the Comrade's non agile response.

I will tan white Hugh's hide when he least expects it. Revenge is best when served cold.

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