Monday, 5 January 2015

Frequent Flier Travel Miles to be donated to company nerds

Social Responsibility

To: Comrade Carl Marks, Chief Internet of Things Nerd
From: Gloria Ramsbottom, SVP HR 
CC: All

Comrade Carl,

In line with our core value of Social Responsibility, and in line with the fat salaries that you are paying your Internet of Things nerds, it has been decided that Frequent Flier Points accrued by your team will be donated to the company, starting today. 

By law, I need to inform you of this change by writing, yet I ask that this email remain just between the two of us. I do not want to bog down your engineers reading yet another document in English. As you know, many of your nerds come from foreign lands. It would a pity to have them waste their time reading administrative material. 

Please note that this policy also applies for private travel to employees' tribal homelands, if we are "safeguarding their passports".

HR appreciates your patronage and it is a pleasure to be your business partner. HR cares about our technical staff, especially those providing added value in Internet of Things.

One other point, my dear Comrade Carl. Airport lounge facilities for your staff caught in 14 hour waits between flights cost out firm $900 a year, and I have rescinded this for the time being. 
However, as we enter our 2019 growth phase, I will reconsider the lounge membership.

Spasiba and merci


To: Gloria, All Engineers
From: Comrade Carl Marks


Look what the ladies of HR have decided, kibinimat.
Ignore it! I will organize a union to rid our company of HR overhead and aggressive and senseless cost cutting.

Comrade Carl

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