Wednesday, 3 December 2014

I date Internet of Things Men, sunshine. Not big data " boys"

Wise and virile
The very unstable semi-virile and apparently wise head of R&D, Comrade Carl Marks, recently suggested that "we" focus efforts on embedding our non-wow product in the Internet of Things so that product stability issues are "mitigated".

That statement sounded to me like Erdogan's statement that the Turks founded America, yet nevertheless our CEO endorsed Comrade Carl's line, and I "signed up" shortly thereafter.

Needless to say, I convened a meeting of our HR team and immediately aligned HR's mission, structure and values with the new and wow wow wow direction.

Mission
"Deeply steeped in tradition of Internet of Things, HR will drive to implement Internet of Things in the spirit of humanism, thrift and HR business partnership, whatever that means".

Structure
Due to the strategic nature of Internet of Things, HR VP Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux's title will be hereon in:
VP HR and Project Czar for HR-Internet of Things Support.

Hugh White from Diversity will recruit people with liabilities, people of colour and different sexual morality to the 
switchboard, Finance, & Supply Chain.

Ms Axe (Cynthia) from Early Bird Retirement will keep her paws OFF the Internet of Things.

Values:
HR values Internet of Things more than gossip, big data and juicy pictures of staff gone astray.

Personal:
I shall date men from internet of things, sunshine. I shan't date big data boys.


Aligning HR with Internet of Things




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