Thursday, 16 October 2014

What my mom thinks of the HR management role

Je me souviens-I remember

"Gloria, you have the memory of an elephant; that won't help you when you are married", cautioned my late Dad, Pierre Elliot

My memory has served me well, like a big data warehouse, hosted on a cloud, whatever that means.

My boss Stan sends me about 200 actionable texts a day, and I delegate these tasks to the empowered Cynthia Axe (Early Bird Retirement) and to the white heterosexual Hugh White (Diversity). 
I follow up on each task every fifteen minutes, by text, Whatsapp, Viber, BBM, and a phone call when absolutely necessary. 
I learnt these advanced HR management techniques from a 60 second webinar, and my people management skills are augmented by my memory. Mais oui-that's French.
I never let anything slip. Jamais. That means never, also in French.

However memory issues are causing me concern, as it were.

My mother, a certain Constance Ramsbottom, has started to lose her memory. She is 82. Mama closed her dancing studio 14 years ago and since then, she has been reading (magazines) and gardening. 

(Now to be frank and earnest, Mama and I have had a non wow relationship. I was always what she called "Pierre Elliot's favourite".)

Mama has started calling me daily for the few months and asks the same questions, over and over and over. That's 3 overs.

"Gloria, how long do think you have to find a husband"?

"Gloria, did you know I just closed my dance studio?"

"Gloria, are you still a Manpower Manager down in the States? Don't you want to do something creative?"

I must have told Mama 20 times that Human Resources Management is not Manpower Management, for heaven sake.

And now she's lost her memory, so I will need keep reminding her....and Stan and Comrade Carl Marks. Ostie!

Follow me @GRamsbottom 

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