Monday, 8 September 2014

HR Recruitment Bypassed as Comrade Carl Marks hires Marsha Zhukov

Who needs a recruitment function?

Hugh White from Diversity came into my room at 905 am. He had a black eye and swollen lip. Apparently, heterosexual (white) Hugh and his wife Comrade Ludmilla had had a minor misunderstanding and Ludmilla (nee Khrushchev) had the upper hand, as it were.

Hugh blurted out: "Gloria, Comrade Carl hired a PMO without our involvement. The new recruit is Marsha Zhukov, and apparently her great grandfather was a big shot over there in Europe. Apparently, he helped the Americans defeat the Germans in Stalingrad in World War 2."

I am always startled by the intelligence of the people who report into me. Even I know that it was the British who defeated Germany and I was weak in history, as it were.

I am also startled that our ERP (HR module) did not block that weirdo Carl from hiring someone and not abiding by process, as it were.

I looked at my inbox (whilst I was reading a text from my sister Claire who is going thru her 5th divorce) and I saw the following email:

To: all
From: Marsha Zhukov-O'Brian

“After a few hours in the company, I understand why leadership allows Comrade Carl Marks to directs every move and decision... Carl is the greatest and wisest R&D manager who ever lived; he is cooler than big data.
I promise to purge R&D from negative input, promulgated by subversive elements in Sales, as well as marginalize the HR "free-lunchers" who live off the sweat of our people."

Marsha Zhukov-O'Brien, Comrade
Project Management Office, aka, PMO

                                                                             Big shot in Europe

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