Thursday, 11 September 2014

HR managers need to know when to shut up

Carl's lease on life may be short



Dear Readers,
Please read this thread of emails in order to get a grasp of what HR business partnership is.
Merci,
Gloria


1 To Chairman Ed
From: Comrade Carl Marks, R&D
CC: Stan@CEO; GRamsbottom@HR; All

Chairman Ed,
Our team recently released a product which is a pearl. 
Some of our unsophisticated clients have issues deploying the product, yet this is a tactical service issue.
Our HR manager, Gloria (my so called HR business partner) claims that CEO Stan has told her to "let Carl stew in his own juice". 
Stan ignores me as of late, and refers me for coaching to that annoying Gloria who is always texting.
BTW, I suggest you try our new product; the documentation should be ready momentarily; it is being translated from Russian.

Spasiba (thank you),
Comrade Carl Marks
............................................
2-To: GRamsbottom@HR
From: Stan@CEO
CC: Ed@Chairman; GRamsbottom@HR

Gloria,
What is taking so long on the Head of Service recruit? Why is HR not responsive? Comrade Carl's focus on continuous engineering/deployment is a waste of his rare talent. Please hone your business partnership with Comrade Carl, in a timely fashion.
Stan
........................................................................................
3- To: All
From: Stan@CEO

There is an immediate head count freeze. Even I cannot hire a soul. Exceptions to be oked by EVP HR Gloria Ramsbottom
............................................
In my matriculation exams in Moose Jaw, I was asked "what is the difference between rebellion and civil war"? I got a 52 in history.
School did not prepare me to be an HR manager.
But my Dad did. He told me that if I get well paid, I should keep quiet. I net 150 K a year.

une perle









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