Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Use Internet of Things to debug product

A service issue

This has not been an easy day for R&D chief and executive vice president Comrade Carl Marks.

Comrade Carl released a new product with more than 30,000 bugs and then insisted that fixing these bugs is "a minor service issue". 

Because we have no service department, our CEO Stan had a panic attack, and then after getting some input from me, Stan acted with cunning and spoke to Comrade Carl.

At 8 am today, CEO Stan called Comrade Carl's live in girlfriend Carla, who happens to be Stan's daughter, and they discussed financial issues. (Comrade Carl knocked up young and innocent Carla a year ago, and they have a child). 

Anyway, to make a long story short, Comrade Carl will "assume" ownership of the product defects for "one month, until that "bitch Ramsbottom" recruits some service talent".

At 1000 am, Comrade Carl  instructed to his engineers (in Russian, Hindi, Cantonese, Hebrew and other tribal dialects) to start fielding service issues via a TSD, a temporary service department. 

Comrade Carl stated: " Don't worry! I will go out on a limb and say that within 3 weeks, our TSD  will solve all these so-called product defects leveraging internet of things".

Diversity Chief Hugh White (a white heterosexual) jumped to his feet and cried out: "Comrade Carl, using the term "out on a limb" is against our core value of diversity".

Comrade Carl stormed out of the building and smoked a joint in the parking lot.

Big data!

Follow me @GRamsbottom

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