Sunday, 6 April 2014

When a employee closes his mobile

Mon dieu-this issue is too hot

When R&D Chief Comrade Carl Marks informed CEO Stan that "we" will need an extra week for the release of our new product bug fix, Stan "lost it". 

Comrade Carl and Stan had a long meeting in which I was present.

The atmosphere in that meeting was non non wow. (two non's). Comrade Carl Marks bellowed at CEO Stan, "Yobt tvoyu mat Stan, speak to my staff directly and get your own answers about the delay. I am going to the parking lot to smoke a joint."

During their conversation, I read a "state of the art" article on internet of things, which is a sexier slogan than big data, for a girl.

Stan convened a meeting of the entire Engineering department, and demanded to know "what needs to be done to enable you guys to work from dawn to dusk to get the product out the door on time." Few of our Engineers speak English, so at first no one answered.

Then, the foolish heterosexual white boy who manages Diversity, Hugh White, cried out: "Boss, this seems unfair; people are working very hard and hardly have free time to do anything except work and pray."

Stan turned red & texted me to come to his office. "Gloria, I am losing my faith in HR. I read that "up there" in Canada where you come from, religion is banned. Why are people praying on company time, for Christ's sake? Put an end to this. Now."

I explained to Stan that he is referring the proposed secular charter of Quebec, and not all of Canada. Stan, ever the global manager said, "I don't care which Canada banned religion, banish religion from our company, or you yourself better start praying." I found that comment very direct.

I immediately invited Diversity Chief Hugh White to my office by text, but Hugh had gone home and closed his friggin mobile. 

I received a text message from Hugh, sent as he was driving home. I encourage people to text while driving, because we have good insurance.

"Stan may have been upset by what I said; but we need to respect the rights of most people; I would not like our organization look like your native country."

(Hugh is now writing his PhD on "Death of the Sex Drive in Over Committed Organizations".)

I texted Cynthia Axe to confiscate prayer mats, crosses, incense and skull caps before she leaves the office. 

BTW, Ms Axe is the only member of HR ever to have been in Church. She even dated a "man" of the cloth, but this is a different story. My dad, Pierre Elliot Ramsbottom, said "I would never "step foot" in a "place of worship".

Dated a man of the cloth

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