Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Dear Gloria

Mais oui

In alignment with my core value of self promotion, I accept and answer questions from HR managers all over the world, including Europe, Denmark, and the Middle East including Brussels. 

Here is a glimpse into my mailbox.

Dear Gloria,
Our work force is not engaged; true, we pay minimum wage, there is lots of physical work and there is no air conditioning during our year long summers, yet there must be a way of getting people to "sign up" for an extra effort.
Any ideas?
Gwok from Singapore

Dear Gwok,
What a name! Why not become Garry or Garth?
I was in Singapore last year; it is very hot. Because I am from Moose Jaw Canada, I passed out in the heat. Mais oui!
My dad, Pierre Elliot Ramsbottom, used to tell me when I misbehaved at school that I am very lucky I was not going to school in Singapore.
So I don't get the problem. Engagement can be achieved positively and semi positively.

Dear Gloria,
Often you wrote about poor English accents and the challenge this poses to your boss.
In our company, all the engineers speak perfect English; it is the Sales and HR folks who speak poor English.
Do you have any practical advice?
Delores from Cleveland

Dear Delores,
Stop lying. 
With deep respect,

Dear Gloria,
What is your next job?
Larry from Montreal

Mon cher Laurent,
I am sorry, Larry. Can you repeat the question? I did not hear you....well, that call was disconnected. Let's move on to the next caller.

Dear Gloria,
What do you pay Ms Cynthia Axe, your downsizing diva?
Jean-Marie, Paris

Dear John,
We work hard, including August, so Ms Axe's salary is not applicable in your reality.
A ton service,

Dear Gloria,
Does Comrade Carl Marks have a nickname for you?
Svetlana (Moscow)

Dear Svetlana,
We have 4 engineers all called Svetlana. Is that the only woman's name in Russia?
Yes, he calls me "my sweet little pizdobolka", but I do not know what he means.
Spasiba, for following me. That's not French.

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