Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Trusted or busted

I wish Wifey would read gossip

I received 3 texts messages from our CEO's (Stan) hyperactive and "bossy" wife today, aka Wifey. (My Dad, Pierre Elliot,  constantly used to tell me "don't be bossy, Gloria")

The first text message was: "Gloria, there is no asset more valuable to HR than the trust of the staff. Do you know that? Wifey". 
Wifey had just read a magazine article titled "Trusted or Busted" at her hairdresser. 

One hour later, I received yet another text from an over zealous Wifey, "Why is Ms Cynthia Axe so untrustworthy? Are you providing her with appropriate mentoring? Wifey"

Finally I received a third text. "Gloria, gaining the trust of the staff is more important than gaining Stanley's trust. I am coming over for coffee at 1500 to chat. Wifey"

In preparation for this fireside chat, I did a focus-group-by-text survey to see how much trust HR really enjoys.
The results were non-wow and I have already taken corrective action. Here are the highlights:

1) Cynthia Axe (Early Bird Retirement Recruiter)  is the least trusted employee in HR. 
Thus, I have rehired her Reputation Coach, who is both a positive thinker, and works on a barter arrangement.

2) Hugh White from Diversity pries people to open up about their sex lives; no one trusts him, especially since he hired a Scot for the switchboard!
Therefore, I have refocused Hugh on ensuring that  staff speak proper American English, especially the Russians, Scots, Israelis and Punjabi staff.(It is very easy to understand American English).

3) Not one single soul trusts me. Except of course for my business partner, CEO Stan. I live or die due to my business partnership with Stan our great leader. Therefore, I live.

Trust is a critical success factor for me, but not a major one, or even a minor one. I want to keep my place at the management table. 
My corrective action will be "to reshape" expectations of the staff from me, leveraging  the fear of a certain Ms Cynthia Axe.







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